Ok, so I am utterly frustrated today.
I hate this.
I know I have been pretty positive up until now, but today is BRUTAL. I feel that there has been no change. I work out, I started running, I am making healthier choices and the volume of food has significantly gone down. When I feel like this? I can't see the bikini or the end result. I can feel my phat and rolls and I even feel full. I did 13km last night and I still feel disgusting and all I had were some mini wheats and skim milk today. Tears of frustration are rolling down my cheeks as I write this....this is not easy people.
I want to give up. I want a Starbucks cookie. I want 10. I want some Krispy Cremes and I never eat those. I want filet mignon with mashed potatoes from the Keg and I want to lock myself in my room and cry. Right now, as crappy as I feel, I wont give into my temptations. I can guarantee that if I was to eat what I really wanted right now, some poutine and a bottle of Shiraz perhaps - I would feel like garbage but at the same time it would make me feel better instantly. I don't know how long I will last. If these feelings continue for the rest of the day, or for the next few days or longer - I may not be that strong.
I am an emotional eater. I sat alone at Starbucks last night for 2 hours waiting. I got my answer, and indeed, it is unrequited pigeon love. At least I know now and I still stand by my idea of living for the moment and sharing how you feel because you just never know. I feel like a complete idiot, but if you don't put yourself out there regardless of humiliation, how will you ever know? I don't want to live with regrets.
Perhaps this is why I am feeling how I am feeling today. I just want to quit. Today is 100 times worse than Day 3.
Maybe I will blog soon, maybe this will be the last. Only time will tell.
PFF
I hate this.
I know I have been pretty positive up until now, but today is BRUTAL. I feel that there has been no change. I work out, I started running, I am making healthier choices and the volume of food has significantly gone down. When I feel like this? I can't see the bikini or the end result. I can feel my phat and rolls and I even feel full. I did 13km last night and I still feel disgusting and all I had were some mini wheats and skim milk today. Tears of frustration are rolling down my cheeks as I write this....this is not easy people.
I want to give up. I want a Starbucks cookie. I want 10. I want some Krispy Cremes and I never eat those. I want filet mignon with mashed potatoes from the Keg and I want to lock myself in my room and cry. Right now, as crappy as I feel, I wont give into my temptations. I can guarantee that if I was to eat what I really wanted right now, some poutine and a bottle of Shiraz perhaps - I would feel like garbage but at the same time it would make me feel better instantly. I don't know how long I will last. If these feelings continue for the rest of the day, or for the next few days or longer - I may not be that strong.
I am an emotional eater. I sat alone at Starbucks last night for 2 hours waiting. I got my answer, and indeed, it is unrequited pigeon love. At least I know now and I still stand by my idea of living for the moment and sharing how you feel because you just never know. I feel like a complete idiot, but if you don't put yourself out there regardless of humiliation, how will you ever know? I don't want to live with regrets.
Perhaps this is why I am feeling how I am feeling today. I just want to quit. Today is 100 times worse than Day 3.
Maybe I will blog soon, maybe this will be the last. Only time will tell.
PFF
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