**This is PFF at her favourite breakfast place in NYC, Pastis - oh Eggs Benedict.....**Editors Note: Apologies for the meltdown you witnessed from PFF's post yesterday...will try to ensure this doesn't happen on the regular.
Harriet Beecher Stowe once said "When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn."
I am waiting for the tide to turn, until then I will still keep on posting and following through on my journey. As bad as I felt yesterday, tears falling down face bad, I managed to get through it. This may seem ridiculous to some people, "why would she cry, what, about food?" but I assure you for anyone that has struggled with weight loss, there are always those moments when you want to give up. This almost feels like a bad break up to the extreme. Quitting my relationship with bad food choices 'cold turkey' is proving to be difficult. Why do you think so many people struggle their entire lives?
Like me for instance, I know what is good for me and what is bad for me. I tend to choose things that are bad for me. Why? I haven't figured it out yet. It feels so good choosing things that are good for me. Do you see the predicament? I have shared some of the mind games in a previous post that go hand in hand with the struggle. I have lost 30lbs before, on two separate occasions but have gained it back plus some both times. I am not too sure what mind game actually stops me when I start a regime, but I hope to recognize it and keep holding on and never giving up. This is a battle I decided I have chosen to win, and I hope that I can stay true to my word until I reach the end.
Lee Iacocca said "You've got to say, I think that if I keep working at this and want it badly enough I can have it. It's called perseverance." Perseverance defined by Merriam Webster online is "to persist in a state, enterprise, or undertaking in spite of counterinfluences, opposition, or discouragement." Boy do I get discouraged. Regardless of my discouragement and the opposition I face (me, mainly) - I will persevere. I do want to be Fit & Fabulous and I have to keep telling myself that even through the hardest most difficult moments, yesterday prime example, I will persevere. I will come out on top because I am the type of woman that will continue to work hard for what I want and indeed, I can have this.
No more being envious of people who can do it, say on The Biggest Loser or even people I know, because there is no reason why I can't do this as well. My thoughts before have been these people are so lucky to have the will to do it, they look so great etc. etc. I am sure their struggle is as tough as mine but in my mind when I see them, I see the result not that they had the exact same struggle as me. It is not easy for anyone, if it was, everyone everywhere would be fit and fabulous.
My biggest downfall is patience, or lack there of. I want instant results / gratification for what I am doing (in other aspects of my life too). That is not a realistic viewpoint and I have to learn to not be so hard on myself. The fact is I am human. I may slip from time to time, but I am on my way to a freedom that I want so desperately, but have never known. One day I will. One day I will know what it's like to get out of bed and look at my hot and sexy butterfly body and decide I love myself this much, and I am so glad I am here and FINALLY have accomplished what I have always wanted. A loooonnnggggg road ahead. Editor's note: Kate Winslet laying naked on fur on a chaise...Kate Winslet laying naked on fur on a chaise....PFF laying naked on fur on a chaise while Mark Ruffalo holds the straw to her bottled water and Eric Dane feeds her strawberries while fanning her....
So, after surviving what looks like the worst day thus far, it can only get better! I did not fall off the wagon, I didn't eat anything ridiculous or bad for me yesterday - despite wanting to drown myself in a bottle of wine and poutine, or eat 25 krispy cremes, pizza, a tub of Half Baked I persevered yesterday's battle with grace and humility (other than the crying). I only hope I keep winning the battle.
Exercise Today: off yesterday, walking tonight with a Super Mom
Recommendations:
*5 Starbucks Cookies
I had the greatest feeling today when someone from my work asked me if I was running on Mount Pleasant the other day. My response jokingly was "yes, I am sorry that you had to see that". He then asked, "do you live around there?" and I said "No, Queen & Broadview, but I go for 13km run / walks, trying to run the whole thing because it is a hard hill" his response "wow, that's great!". Moral of the recommendation? Get outside to exercise while you still can because I have had now a few people tell me that they have seen me on my run - which is amazing, I am basically famous now with a huge paparazzi following. I will soon need to wear sunglasses to block the flash from my beautiful brown eyes...Tiff starts September 10th, so I better get on finding representation.
Blog Soon,
PFF
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