You know the title is full of intrigue. You couldn't help but read it. The following story may or may not be based on actual facts, but decide for yourself what you would do.
Girl met boy. Girl liked boy. Boy didn't like girl and treated her poorly. Girl stopped liking boy. Girl met Boy's friend and felt fireworks. First Boy decides he now likes girl. Boy still treated girl poorly. Girl told boy's friend how she felt. Girl felt guilty but is passionate and had to share her feelings. Girl told original boy that she had feelings for someone else. Boy now has decided he wont let her go. Girl can't stop herself from thinking or dreaming about the cutest of cute boys. What is a girl to do?
Pigeon unrequited love you ask? Believe it or not, this story isn't about Duke, Meryl and the Kids outside my bedroom window - if only Pigeons had this type of passion to deal with. Although I am sure there must be some kind of unrequited pigeon love somewhere...Maybe Meryl had an affair or something with an old flame and caused Duke pain, but he forgave her and they stay together for the kids and are now genuinely happy. Maybe I will never know the trials and tribulations that they had to endure, all I know is in the end they are together and are raising their happy family. I wish I was a pigeon sometimes, they are quite fabulous.
Editors note: Girl is PFF, both "boy's" are in fact grown men
At the age of 33, I have had my fair share of "relationships" with the opposite sex. In a previous blog I shared two of the many unbelievable experiences I have had (more entertainment for your reading pleasure to come). Obviously, not one of the many were made to last. When you meet someone that ignites a passion inside of you for no apparent or logical reason, despite timing or circumstance- are we to ignore that feeling and hope it will go away? Although I know it is probably one sided, and possibly all in my own head and I am the only one creating this torture for myself...I need to know for certain. He's Just Not That Into You would shake me and say "Girl, if a guy is genuinely interested in you, regardless of circumstance, you wont have to wonder." But I still do. Wonder and hope should be my two middle names.
You may be asking yourself, what kind of girl would go after the guys friend anyway? What kind of guy would even entertain that thought to do that to his friend? Then I question what kind of girl would I be if I didn't follow my heart, or my dreams for that matter. These are also the specific reasons why it will probably never happen.
I met someone. One time. That is all it took. He is extremely attractive, unlawfully so. He is nice, charming, smart, plays hockey, treats people well, has a great personality, is a very good friend and a very decent and good (said with umph!) man which makes him even that more attractive. The type of man that I could potentially see myself spend some very quality time with. So why isn't he interested? I would like to think it is because I am not yet Fit & extremely Fabulous, but when I am he will be. The truth of the matter is it is because he is a very loyal friend and I should be ashamed of feeling the way I feel and should put it permanently out of my head. How disrespectful of me to have these feelings!
Literally, at night while I sleep, he is there. This has been going on for about 2 months now, every other night or so. Last night, he kissed me. This incredible, so real, fantastic, perfect, magical kiss. The kind of kiss I would give up Peanut Butter forever for. The kind of kiss that transcends places, spaces and time. How ridiculous is this? How am I suppose to live the nightmare of unrequited adoration during the day, and have such sweet dreams that feel so real at night?
I am a grown, independent and Fabulous woman who is now focused on getting rid of the Phat and getting Fit. I consistently try to put the idea out of my head for my own good but yet, I fall asleep and there he is, kissing me. How can I not want the real deal? All I know is that he is gorgeous. Uh huh. Crazy and stupid right? Explain that to my subconscious.
If the cutie cutest happens to read this posting, he will know who he is. Yes, I am passionate, bold, brave and fabulous and many other wonderful things. I want you like a pigeon wants the bread from a homeless man. Could I be more straightforward?
Editor's Note: Ok, so maybe not the best analogy, but you get it, right?
Moral of this story? Other than I have a secret and sick obsession with Pigeon life, I feel lucky that I am able to feel the things I do, regardless if the feelings are returned or not. Life is dull without passion. One day, like I have mentioned before, I will be with some incredibly fantastic man who will treat me the way I deserve to be treated. Phat and Phony no more. I just need to keep loving myself enough to be Phat, Fit & Fabulous to the second power and until I get where I feel I need to be - try to keep the dreams and boldness on lockdown.
Exercise for today: walked / ran 13km last night, 13km tomorrow night. Still not giving into temptation.
Recommendations*3 Starbucks Cookies
Can I mention again how much I love to laugh while I am walking / running? Neil Diamond made me laugh so hard last night I am sure people were wondering what was wrong with me. Imagining the glittery jump suits, the messy hair, raspy voice and the swooning women - you can't help but love his tunes. America or Sweet Caroline and oh so many others. Amazing!
Blog Soon,
PFF
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