Well, the time has come for Luke to make his decision. You may have read one of my earlier posts on one of my bitter days about this show and what a bad representation of Phat women it portrays. It is now between Tali (my personal favourite) and that manipulative fake beeotch waitress Malissa (who spells Melissa like that anyway?!). She is trying to win, not win the heart of the man she supposedly loves after 4 weeks of filming a show where dream dates are constant. Where any normal girl would be lucky to go on once in her life, let alone each week. Sure, I have been flown to Hawaii for a romantic beach dinner and moonlit walk after 2 dates - who hasn't? I am never a fan of these shows, but like I have expressed before, I am someone addicted to the train wreck that is More to Love. No, if you are asking, I am not afraid to express what I really think about this, but you should know that I am pretty happy about sharing my opinion by now.
Tonight is the last episode and I am watching while I write this. I don't know what the end result is, but I have a feeling that the evil girl will win. Don't they always? If he does choose to propose to the spawn of satan, then he is the one who must live with it, not me.
I wont lie, I will be effected by it. I hate when the evil girl wins. For myself, I always try to do the best thing, the right thing. When it comes to relationships, I am no expert. Sure, I can give someone reasonable advice and can see a jerk a million miles away. How dare he treat you this way? You deserve so much better girl, forget about him! Oh yeah, I can tell you to ignore him until he calls, that it will take him 4 days to call you - and everytime I predict something, 9 times out of 10 it happens exactly how I say it will. I have witnesses that can confirm. So, why is it so clear for me to see it in the great women that surround me, but I cannot for the life of me see it for myself?
Speaking of Trainwrecks: you may have read “Dropping the Phony” or “Unrequited Pigeon Love” where it told a story about Boy meets Girl and how it turns out that Girl starts to dream Boy's friend. Let's just say, the Pigeon shit has hit the fan. When will I ever learn? If only I could look at the situation from the outside and find the strength to listen to my inner voice that says what I am doing is foolish. Why would I profess my feelings to a man that I barely know based just on what my heart “feels”? Crazy right? Why would I be so persistent? Why couldn't I just let it be and accept that if it was meant to happen, it would work itself out on its’ own? If a friend of mine told me this situation my answer is easy. Let it go. Let both go. Totally not worth it, if a man is interested you will know – just like my trusty bible (He’s Just Not That Into You) has told me numerous times before.
All I can say is that I would never intentionally hurt someone, I just wouldn't. I wouldn't specifically do something behind someones back for my own personal gain. I try to be as honest as possible, and follow my heart and my feelings. The fact that I feel what I feel, I can't always control that. Sure, I could have controlled the relentless pursuit, but if my heart is telling me something and my head agrees - shouldn't I try and follow what I think is the right thing to do for me? It wouldn't be fair to my own heart if I just ignored it. Sure, it wasn't an ideal situation, but sometimes you just can't help who you develop feelings for and I don't want to be someone who lives with regret. I am certainly not a Malissa. I am a Tali. I am a hard working, determined woman who is passionate looking for a man who is determined and driven. Someone who will inspire me. Someone who will accept me for who I am, my mistakes, whether I am Phat or Fit but always Fabulous and eventually in time fall deeply in love with me.
We live in a day and age where women should take control – what is wrong with asking a man out or letting him know you are interested? Many of you I am sure have an opinion on this. Men claim they like a woman who takes control and asks them out. I am not so sure.
These days more and more women are waiting to get married, prolonging having children, focusing on their careers and have the ability to do anything on their own. Hell, we can even satisfy our individual physical desires with a variety of ways if you can read between the lines of what I am saying. Thus making the need for a man somewhat obsolete - or some would think. You hear women claim “I don’t need or want a man” yet it is the first conversation piece at Brunch, Lunch, Dinner, Drinks or any other social gathering when women get together.
Editors note: This is EXACTLY why girlfriends are so important – they love you no matter what mistakes you make and support you through it all and will talk to you about it until it is fully dissected.
Men do seem to have it easy, but if they are meant to be the “provider”, the “pursuer” I do trust that they are the only ones who can do this for a woman to remind her that she is indeed a woman. Although very independent, I am old fashioned at heart and believe in having doors opened for me, dinner paid for, a kiss on the cheek at the end of a first date and that man asking for the second date before the first one is over. So why, why, why do I insist on asking a man to see me or go out with me when it has been expressed by him that he is uncomfortable?
As much as I can do for myself, it could never replace what a man can bring to the table. Men are strong, they love sports, they can fix things, they are handsome, they are fathers, they are brothers and uncles. They are sexy, aggressive, funny, smell really, really good and have the perfect resting place for your head after a tough day. They can get ready in 5 minutes for a formal occasion and make your heart skip a beat when they tell you how beautiful you are. They listen and agree, offer sound advice and know that they really never can win against a woman in an argument. They buy flowers, leave notes and they know how to kiss you to make you realize nothing else matters. I don’t care what anyone says, I cannot do that for myself, only a man can.
Friend's and others gasp when they learn I am single, telling me "it will happen when you least expect it" or "it will happen when it is right". "Don't worry" they say, "you will find someone....just give it time". Isn't that exactly what I have been doing? Is 33 years not enough time? I digress. My point is, when you are a good woman, it can be very difficult to find a good man in this day and age.
My word is all I have, and right now, it means nothing. I must admit, I am disappointed in myself but no point in dwelling. I can only dust myself off, and learn the lesson here, right? Right! That is exactly why I am so Fabulous! So, I have made a fool of myself and hurt someone in the process unintentionally. At least I followed my heart and more importantly can only learn from the mistakes I have made and try my hardest not make the same ones again.
Exercise Today: Day off, walked 13km last night – continue to eat well – walking 13km with Special Guest tomorrow – can’t wait and most importantly, focus on myself - that is what this blog is all about - becoming a better, healthier me! I think once I achieve that, everything else will somehow fall into place.
Blog Soon,
PFF
PFF
Editors note: Luke didn't pick spawn of satan - woo hoo! Victory is mine...well, Tali's.
Posts
