Cravings, Cravings, Cravings

Ok, so I am elated that I am starting to notice my body change. It is unfortunate, but this past Saturday, I found myself craving, craving, craving - everything. I wanted salt, sugar, a combination of both - but no matter what I snacked on or ate as my meal- the craving wasn't satisfied. Do you realize how frustrating that is? I just had to grin and bear it, let it pass - but it did seem to take its sweet and salty ass time.

Maybe its because now that it is beginning to look and feel like fall, I am craving comfort food more than ever. Mashed potatoes, turkey, gravy, apple crisp, pumpkin pie - I think it is a little dangerous to be craving all of these items when I will most likely have them in two weeks for Thanksgiving. Can we say Turkey Overload? I have three Turkey dinners slotted in, plus my best friend's birthday dinner - which will be fabulous. I do have to think about how I will face this food filled weekend - I will be sure to have activity each day next week, up until Friday night when I have my own Turkey dinner with those I love. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE this time of year and this holiday in particular? The only thing is, the colder it gets, the more I spend time indoors and then before you know it I am sitting in pj's on a cold and snowy day ordering in pizza because it is too nasty to go outside. I have thought about getting WI Fit for the winter months because the minus thirty wind chill will be difficult to run through - it always kills my lungs for hours afterwards - let me know your thoughts....

Yesterday, I went for my walk and I ran more than I have since I have started - which felt great. Remember, this is toward my new goal of running half way in 2 weeks from now. I worked my body hard, and it thanked me afterward. What was unexpected on my run was that I literally ran into an old and dear friend on the street corner. Just like a movie. Things happened just after college graduation and we haven't seen each other since then. We caught each others' eyes on the corner and spent a few minutes making small talk. You know, the easy questions - "What are you up to now?" and "How are you doing?" It was slightly uncomfortable, knowing what had happened in the past - but I got through it. Back then after everything happened, I had written letters to him that I never sent, telling him how sorry I was for everything and until I found him on Facebook about two years ago - I finally told him in an email how much I had missed the friendship we had shared. He was a man that when we were together, we laughed so much, I felt a genuine connection, although not a physical one. It wasn't about that. He was my dear, great friend. All those years, wondering what if I hadn't been so ridiculous, what if he believed the truth opposed to what he was told? When looking back on mistakes I have made in my life, he is one of the people I had missed and it made me sad to think about what a loss it truly was not having him in my life.

After we parted and I continued my walk, I started to reflect. Ten years have passed and I was reminded of how much I had missed him. I felt very close to him, trusted him as he was an amazing friend. Seeing him yesterday was nice, it was because I have wanted to see him for so long. I do also realize that we are completely different people now. He is living his own life and I am living mine. The comfort I once felt, is no longer there. So much time has passed. This brings me back to certain people come into your life at certain times for certain reasons. He was there back then and at that time perhaps it was exactly what I needed. All I know is that after last night, I received some closure and that felt wonderful. I didn't cry, I didn't feel sad - it was genuine happiness to see him, but I can move forward not beating myself up for what I should / could have done differently. The one thing I know for sure, are the people who stick with you through everything. The misunderstandings, the distance, the time. You just pick up where you left off and know that no matter what, you can count on them.

I have no idea how or why this weather turns me into such a sap.

After my run, I went grocery shopping. I will prepare dinner tonight. I know that "they" say never to go shopping on an empty stomach - but I couldn't help it last night. I do know why they say that. Cravings, cravings, cravings....everywhere. Each step I took I wanted something different for dinner. I finally decided on a lean cuisine personal sized pizza - which was incredible by the way. I need to find more of those!

Exercise Today: Make dinner, perhaps run, perhaps not - still deciding. Taking a Zumba class tomorrow night - will let you know how that is and back to the ACC for the Leafs home opener Thursday.

Recommendations:

5* Starbucks Cookies

Mariah New Album Plug - Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel - released today!!!!

Dr. Dre - 2001 - best album of all time non Mariah - check it out it will make you run hard!

Have you downloaded Neil Diamond yet? This will make you enjoy working out, I promise....only one song though - that's all you need!

Blog Soon,

PFF

p.s. I want to hear from you if you have any suggestions or anything you would like to see more / less of on my blog to make it more enjoyable for you! If you like it the way it is, then wonderful!

My Love For Fall

Today the kids go back to school, or to school for the first time. I can feel a hint of it in the air already. Although still technically summer, the last long weekend has come and gone and we are headed into my favourite time of year.

The sun is orange and bright. The mornings are filled with cool, crisp air. I wrap myself in sweaters made of wool with thick belts and collars I can escape in. The trees change colour, the leaves fall and you know that snow and sleet are just around the corner but it is ok. The feeling of this magical season literally brings tears to my eyes. Sometimes when the wind blows, and the leaves on the trees dancing their slow dance, I melt. I also feel inspired. A new hope consumes me, and I feel anything is possible.

My official song for the fall, that makes me cry everytime I hear it in the beginning of this season. Open Arms by Mariah Carey is just Fabulous. I don't know how to upload video yet, but follow this link to listen while you read on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye8oc98qfHk

I have a deep love for fall. I would be happy to give up Spring, Summer & Winter if only Fall lasted all year long. Thanksgiving is my favourite holiday mainly because of the weather and the warmth it brings. You get to spend time with people you really love and care about. It is different from Christmas. I do love Christmas, but it is just not the same. What is not to love about Turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, warm apple crumble, the smell of cinnamon and pumpkin pie all without the nasty snow? Plus, it is the one time of year I love to use my oven to prepare food, instead of using it for storage. This year, I will host a Thanksgiving dinner for those I love the most and celebrate how far I have come. By October 12th, it will be 3 months and I will be hopefully 30 lbs lighter.

Maybe this time of year brings me back to when I was a young girl, playing with leaves after raking them. Collecting acorns in the ravine behind my house. When things seemed a lot more simple. The trees, so many beautiful and warm colours - everywhere! Going back to school with new clothes, binders, pens, markers and the opportunity of new beginnings and fresh starts.
There are so many things to be grateful for and I think it is the one time of year I actually sit and reflect and recognize how much the people in my life truly mean to me. Those friends that have been there through it all. The friends from my past that helped me make it through difficult times. The friends that I really wouldn't be here still without. The friends that are my family. The friends that I never see. The friends that I have lost touch with but have now reconnected. The new family I have found, and what they have brought to my life over the past 10 years. Thinking of the family of my own that I will have one day. I become the most loving and affectionate person during this time - and truly thankful for everything that I have. I sure am lucky to have such incredible people surround me.

So give a warm welcome to fall and if you feel inclined, think about the people that matter most to you and take a moment to give "thanks" for all of those in your life you are lucky enough to share your time with. I think what I need to do is increase the time I do this - to more than just one season a year.

Editor's Note: this is dedicated to all of you who have been there and who have helped me get to where I am today - you may not know that a simple ride to work or your listening ear made a huge difference. I couldn't have done it without you.

Blog Soon,
Super Sappy PFF