The show description on their site is this:
"Not feeling good about your body was so last year… Based on the highly successful British series, How To Look Good Naked is coming to Canada! With the help of Canada’s top fashion and lifestyle experts we will help women get their body confidence back, no surgery required! In each episode our host will teach women how to embrace their curves, love their lives and learn how to best show off the figures they have. We will guide them through their negative body issues and help them demystify their ideas of perfection. Each week through styling, beauty tips, and direction from our style experts, we will lead a woman on an extraordinary journey to loving herself again. "
I have watched the British version and I think that it is fantastic. I believe that so many women, including myself, have such a negative body image and we are actually so distorted in how we think we look to others, it damages us in ways we may not even realize. The idea for auditioning for this show came quickly and easily for me. How quickly? I decided yesterday to audition / apply and I submitted today but it failed - so I have to retry. It was an extensive questionnaire, asking me how I feel about my body, if I avoid certain situations because of my negative body image, what parts of my body do I hate, who is the person I would most like to impress and the last time I wore a bikini. There are many other questions they asked and if I am selected for the show I am sure there will be many more. The other thing that they required that I wasn't prepared for were the seven pictures that they need. Up close face smiling, full body smiling, full body from the side, full body in bra and underwear and full body side in bra and underwear. Not the photo shoot I imagined. I was hoping that I wouldn't have to submit full body pictures, just the ones that have my beautiful smiling face showing. My goal this week is to get those pictures taken and submit. I thought I had time to build myself up to half naked pictures of my awful phat body, but no no no, before the show airs I have the pleasure (DISPLEASURE) of having numerous people look at me half naked. This is something (the punishment) I think I deserve after gaining back the 20lbs I lost. Wowsers. I am not sure if this is a good idea......but you know what? I have been bad so I deserve the humiliation.
If you haven't seen the show, the one ultra scary but oh so fabulous thing they do is get you to pose in a bra and underwear (sans airbrushing- eeek!) and they post a billboard up in your city. That is right. Instead of the photo shoot with fur like Kate Winslet, I can do a photo shoot with my Phat body, half naked, for the entire city of Toronto to see and ask random passers by to give their thoughts on camera (lord help me). Can we say risky? Can we say humiliating? Can we say I think it is an adventure and it could potentially be a lot of fun and who knows it may even help me find a little happiness in the way I look right now? Can we also say it would be terrifying and if I thought writing this blog was humiliating. Once I do this, they glam me up and have me pose nude and put that air brushed billboard up in a mall. Uh huh. I have decided that if I get through the screening process and they select me, my fabulous friends and I will go have some mimosas and take pictures in front the phat fabulousness billboard that is me. Thankfully when I asked many volunteered to be on the show for support (some thought they would have to be naked too but no, no - the pleasure is all mine!). An experience many may luckily never have - but deep down, I think it will be a huge learning experience. Trust me, if you are reading this and have any issue with your body, you wont even think about it if you see this....
There is also an opportunity if I don't make the show, or maybe if I do - I could end up being still on a billboard in Toronto, in a bra and underwear, with a little air brushing - helping the cause of insecure women (like myself) everywhere. Kind of like the Dove commercials where you see the women that look real....but it would be ME. Adventurous huh? Let's hope that I am selected to do the show - I think it would be beneficial for my own body image (since I feel like I look like a cow right now) and maybe celebrating the way I look now, will help me appreciate even more how hard I need to work to get fit and fabulous.
6 weeks to Miami. Lord help me.
Blog Soon,
PFF
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