Week 11 Numbers Game: Not a game anymore....Weight: 203lbs
Lbs Lost this week: 0
Lbs gained this week: 0
Lbs Lost thus far: 16
Lbs still needed to lose: 34+19
Desserts consumed: a few
Starbucks Cookies: 0
Peanut Butter by the spoon: 0
KM walked: ZERO - ya, what is wrong with me you ask? I just want to hibernate.
Zumba Classes: 0
Booty Camp Classes: 0
Glasses of Shiraz: 3
Poutine: 0
Mimosas: 1
Emotional Breakdowns: 0
Excuses: nothing but...
OK, so I am done.
Tired, I want to quit.
Without struggle there is no progress. Don't I know it. I am tired of the struggle. I have no idea who said it, I love it, but right now? It is the truth. Without struggle there is no progress. There is increase, in poundage if I eat how I want to right now. My struggles? Wanting to eat everything in plain sight. Getting my phat ass in gear. Losing weight.
No progress in 3 weeks. I can't blame anything or anyone but myself. No, this is not a pity party. This is a lazy phat ass party. You are all invited to tell me I am a phat cow, that I am lazy, to get it together and start exercising again and watching everything I eat how I did in the beginning. The truth is, I feel ok, I want to feel better but I am so tired as of late. I want to curl up into a ball and relax. I don't want to gain back the 16lbs I have lost - but I am at a plateau - a self inflicted plateau. A lazy phat ass plateau. I keep making excuses, and tonight I could go - but I have no energy it seems. It is dark, the temperature is nice, but I don't even feel like doing laps around the track.
Can we say frustrated? I am going to turn into the size of a polar bear if I don't start up again. Here I am, for whatever reason I reach a point and I stop. WHY? Do I not want it that bad? Do I want to be air lifted by a crane out of the side of my apartment? Do I want nasty sores and swollen body parts because I can't move out of my bed? Do I want to have chicken delivered in a bucket through my window? Do I need to remind myself of the 35,000 calories a day guy? How about I post a picture of me half naked now - humiliate myself even more and work towards changing it. Who knows what it is going to take. It was suggested to me to do the 30lb shred by Jillian Michaels - she frightens me. She is scary. I want WiFit - but haven't gotten it yet. If I am left in my house to do a video - chances are I could find an excuse as to why I can't do it.
From Phat to Fit to Fabulous to Fat to Full of Excuses. Do you realize that I want to be stuffed like a turkey in the oven at all times. All I want to do is eat right now. I want to lay on my couch and eat. Right now I could eat a loaf of bread...screw the salad. I could go to the Keg right now and have some serious wine, Filet Mignon and garlic mashed potatoes. Maybe I should take a break for a week. Eat everything I want and come back? Who the hell knows what I should do! I am so frustrated and craving so much food right now its bad. I am trying to keep it under control, but I know that before long I will be back to eating a bag of doritos and a chocolate bar, and those Starbucks Chocolate Chunk cookies.
Vacation and dream time over. Hibernation time here I come.
Blog Soon,
PFF
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